Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
