He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
