I wannas sexs uuuuu
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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