Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
