I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
