speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
