Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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