This is not my ceiling
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
