And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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