I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
