I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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