Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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