Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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