I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
