I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
