In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
