i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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