Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
