I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
