Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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