Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
