just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
