why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
