Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
