Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
