giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
