hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you win again, gameday.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
