Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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