why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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