Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
