Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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