Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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