I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We need to get me chipped asap
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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