I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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