with your own penis?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
