What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
