no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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