it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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