Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
