You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
