Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

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(406): View more from Montana

Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people

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(573): View more from Missouri

I had him autograph the condom wrapper.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?

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