5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
