And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
