Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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