People in love make me want to vomit
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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