I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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