Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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