I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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