I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
