The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
