Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
40s are totally the cure
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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