she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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