Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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