woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I die, sorry about rent.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
