There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
