We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
