he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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