508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
