Pappa wants mamma naked
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
