Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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