i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
