FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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