Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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