Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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