The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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